Introduce a little Meritocracy...

Now, anytime anybody has ever asked me about my political views...I have ranged from not political to plain old democratic (like most people in early childhood)..to communism (everybody has that phase)...to Autocracy (I know I would be an awesome dictator but what after me)..but I have mostly had a fascincation with Anarchy...and this was way before the iconic 'Introduce a little Anarchy' hospital scene from The Dark Knight

if you dont know this scene...then...well...How about a magic trick where I make a pencil disappear

But just because am fascinated by it doesn't mean I want to practically live with it..its like just because am a fan of Salman Khan doesnt mean I wanna marry him...ok..really-weird-off-the-tangent jokes apart..I do believe Anarchy is an essential school of thought...its a 'necessary evil' you might say...People need to know what darkness is so that they can appreciate the light..But total Anarchy just like total Socialism sounds only cool on paper..or even better if you roll weed on to that paper and smoke it.

Dude..socialism totally works..look at the USSR..its still there..isnt it...

For all intents and purposes Democracy is the ideal form of government...even though it is flawed..at least we are all screwed together in it and have only ourselves to blame...also if not anything else..democracy gives us the illusion of choice...we at least have some say in a democracy..its the one form of Government where you dont disappear overnight for saying something against the government.

or do they...
 

Anyways, call the Indian Democracy what you want but we are actually one of the most democractic nations ever..we have had democratic republics since the vedic times and even our most grassroots administrations are panachyats...Indian women had voting rights immediately after our independence..America had voting rights like 150 years after theirs..we have had one women prime minister and several chief ministers..so called champion of democracy USA has had none..but still dont get too carried away...even though we are a democracy we are a feudal democracy.
Yes...we choose to elect our opressors..in the past,we served people who earned our leadership by birthright..now we just elect them..(which they think they are eligible for just by birthright)

"Ruling you is our birthright and we shall have it.."

 

So whats the problem...ya we all know most politicians are power-hungry, corrupt and there is nothing a ordinary citizen like us can do about it...we are a culture steeped in heroes...we want some Messiahs or Mahatmas to come save us..because we are too lazy or scared (rightfully) to do anything about it..But a heroes job is like a nitro boost..its meant to bring about a balance to an otherwise unbalanced system..but its our job to change it and maintain it.
So, first let me say the basic thing that you ll always hear but never practice..please VOTE!..vote for the lesser of two evils..or at least go and register yourself for the 'none of the above' option..see its because almost 40% of the middle class has given up on its basic democractic function that we are still in a feudal mindset.
But still..I understand the problem doesnt end there...I believe that there is a inherently deep problem with our democracy..other than our servile mindset..I believe that bad leaders get elected only because we allow them to get elected..they create vote banks on the basis of casteism,regionalism,being-dirt-poorism etc. But to really stop this problem we have to realize the one basic fundamental flaw with democracy...democracy assumes that whatever is 'popular' is good for everyone...did it sound stupid when you read it..thats cause it is. People win not only coz they have loads of money bags to hand over..but because they manage to strike a chord with whatever vote bank they have created..people vote for someone who appeals to them not necessarily for someone who is actually good for them...Pepsi is a pretty popular drink..but in no way is it good for you.

I Know Pepsi can cure cancer because I Like it

In essence a democracy becomes a reality show where the shittily talented contestant wins and the actually talented one loses..thats because all people who voted for the show can't understand or appreciate music at all.
So whats the solution..whats the way to restore peoples faith in democracy...introduce a little Meritocracy. Now before you start googling this..let me tell you that even though meritocracy sounds like the rule of the elite..its not..thats aristocracy or plutocracy..in a meritocracy..power is given to those with skills and ability and their advancement is dependent on their achievements..its not heridatary..its doesnt seek to establish a ruling class..anyone with the skills and ability and performance to show for it can act as an administrator...as I said every political system is an essenatial element thats 'necessary' for a society...in the same way am not suggesting absolute Meritocracy..am suggesting introducing little elements of it.
Meritocracy has been written about since centuries.. practiced in ancient China,India and Greece..currently only one nation practices Meritocracy..its Singapore.. and we know what amount of progress its made. Osho was a big fan of Meritocracy and you 'll find some of his thoughts about it here.
But how do we introduce Meritocracy in our country where your caste or money are more important...well, lets start at the basic level.. Just like people who can't understand shit about music but think they can spot talent right away..you have to admit that the same happens in a democracy...do you see where am going here...ok .. I ll say it right away..even for the sake of being branded an elitist or snob or a general dick.. I believe not everyone is capable of voting..voting shouldn't be a right..its a privilege..just because you are eighteen doesnt necessarily mean you are capable enough of deciding whether someone can run your country better than others.
Ok..dont start throwing stones at me..in Jesus style let me say..he who hasn't thought that most people are fucking retards cast the first stone...right...thank god you realized it.


so what if I cant answer that right..I know who can solve my country's economic crises

But now comes the obvious question..how do you decide that who can and cannot vote.
Well as usual here is a 3 step programme-
1) Voting is a right but only for those capable of understanding its power- Yes I said it..I know education is no guarantee of intelligence.. but its at aleast guarantee that you can read the papers and know what is happening to you and your society..pass a law that requires minimum Higher Secondary (HSC or 12th or 10+ 12 or whatever equivalent) to be the minimum qualification for someone to be able to earn a voting card.
After maybe having implemented a nationwide Aadhar card project..we can automatically issue Voting cards right after someone passes the HSC..that way we not only stress on the importance of voting, early in peoples minds but also ensure that some illiterate person who thinks that their vote is not registered unless they first press the button next to the hand symbol of Congress (by the way, there have actually been such incidencies reported) doesnt earn a share in deciding this country's future..yes I know it affects him as well and he should have the right..well does he/she know how this is affecting him..if you are not educated enough..well then I wont say screw you go home (even if I want to)..all I can say is we can have some refresher course..with an online test that can one can be certified as eligible to vote...so that one doesn't have to go back to college and risk being called uncle or aunty.
Also, I would suggest this law to be applicable not in retrospect..but from the date from which it is passed..so that not only the existing people are not discriminated against but also that future generations will not only know the importance of literacy but hopefully realize that you cant govern yourself by just the virtue of being born here..you have to earn the right to do it. I do realize that our educational system is flawed and inadequate but still no amount of resources can replace the will to learn.
Of course but now that we have talked about who can vote...what about the biggest problem of who we vote for..

2) Minimum qualification to get elected-
According to our constitution, any dumb schmuck who is above 18 years of age and was born here can compete in an election (the norms for being a Prime minister and Presidient vary..but only in terms of age)..well we have all seen cases of 4th fail retards as education or chief ministers...how about setting up some bench mark...something of a filter to ensure that shit gets filtered at some point. I am aware that just because someone passes an exam doesnt mean that they are an effective leader..charisma..leadership skills etc. are arts that are learned practically rather than from books. But am not talking about holding an exam for the post of a minister..am talking about a minimum standard for someone to be able to to decide the fate of millions of this country.
Lets say that you have to be a minimum of  graduate in any stream to be able to stand for even municipal corporation election..this way we can avoid to some degree, all the illiterate bhabhis and bahus of dead criminals/politicians being voted in on merely emmotionally basis as puppets of other party heads. Let me tell you a person with a degree can also be a puppet and be swindeled..but at least it gives us some guarantee that your local Nagarsevika  Ma. Dwarakabai Hingnekar w/o late Jagdishdada urf (Bhau) Hingnekar isnt as dumb as she looks on those election banners.
But still jokes apart..I believe that if you cant get 40% to graduate through college..no matter what amount of leadership skills you have..its not useful unless you are able to make an informed decision..yes I said 40% coz I knw even when you read the words minimum qualification you automatically assumed that the person needed to be a mertiorius or scholar..as I said education is no guarantee of intelligence nor leadership nor morality..I only propose that lets set a minimum filter for at least qualified people to earn the right to be leader.
Also, as much as I would like to say an even bigger SCREW YOU to any illiterate or less qualified politcians..we can maybe have some refresher courses with an in-camera online test..also the test can be something like 50 multiple choice questions selected randomly out of 500 questions and a small essay too..The MCQ result will be announced immediately..making the test in-camera and of randomly chosen questions will reduce the chances of cheating and corruption...Also,we do need an essay which would be checked by an impartial body so that we rely not just on lucky choices for qualification.

 

3) Not just educational qualifications-
By Meritocracy I just dont mean that people need to be educationally qualified..there are other qualifications..other moral filters we can set to minimize the risk of trash ruling us..we can completely destroy the politician/goonda nexus by introducing a few changes. Also, I believe that being a people's representative is a govt. job so all the changes here apply for all govt. jobs as well

• People with a criminal record of serious crimes like murder, rape or involvement in a scam will lose the right to vote or stand for election or any govt job...this will apply to people undergoing trials or even released on bail. Also, people with more than 2 children henceforth, should also be barred.
• As I said that voting and getting elected should be privileges not rights..we can have a detailed system where there can there can restrictions according to the nature of your crime..so less serious cirmes will see a lesser ban and so on and so forth
• Establishment of a Sex Offendors registry where a list of criminals with minor offences from eve-teasing to major sexual assaults is maintained..the name stays on the list depending on the severity of the crime..(for example something like 3 years for eve-teasing ..7 years for physical abuse..lifetime for rape..even after jailtime etc.)...all govt./semi-govt jobs will require a check through that registry and anyone whose name is still there will be refused a job. Here you not only ensure morally appropriate candidates are selected but also disincentivize people to treat women like crap. Private employers will also be encouraged to follow similar practices. If you cant respect women, you dont deserve to have a standard of living
•  Also, as I have said earlier freedom of speech is actually a privilege...yes I agree who and what anyone decides is inappropriate is a matter of persepective..but I think there can be consensus on setting a media/public appearence ban on someone who has had a particularly serial and severe (please note the underlined words and dont talk to me about giving people second chances) criminal history. Hateful speeches/obscenity are a bit of a matter of persepective..but how about banning someone with a background of actual violent crimes involving caste discrimination or religious hatred.

Bonus Step..making people Stakeholders - well though not directly related to voting or voting rights, we can ensure people participation in democracy by having everyone pay at least 500 rupees tax in a year..only if your annual income is below 1 lac you are exempt...monetary obligation ensures that people become not only citizens but stakeholders of the democracy..this kind of tax can be used to set up a national level massive group insurance..so that a minimum amount of lets say something around 2 lacs or more is guaranteed for any earning member's family in case of death or something or permanent disability. Dont get confused.. am not saying you cant vote if you dont pay tax..am saying that by introducing such a participatory tax (and of course reducing others..but thats another issue for another day) we can ensure more voter turn out.

So here its is..a bit of Meritocracy in our system wouldn't be so bad..yes it will have consequences just like every political system does..but no harm in giving it a chance...although am aware of all the flaws in our education system which seeks to test our memory more than knowledge or decision making ability..but thats another issue for another day (yes..because there are only so many things you can cram into one post)..am also aware that these dreams might never materialize..unless of course we all start taking a part....play your part..vote for anyone..vote for none-of-the-above..at least earn the right to criticize the problems in our country..Use your power.



ok..thats enough power for you..

PS- unless you have noticed that Meritocracy (democratic meritocracy) has never gotten the dues or the marketing it deserves..every other political ideology has a cool theme/color/symbol..Democracy though doesnt have a particualr symbol..all the american symbology somehow have come to represent that..blue and white..mostly come to mind when you think of Democracy...Communism has its Red color and sickle and hammer..Anarchy has its black and its 'A' in a circle (yes thats the symbol watermarked on this blog)..Hindu supermacy has Orange..Islamic supermacy Green..Meritocracy has never had its symbol..I have made an primary attempt to design a flag and a symbol for it..please comment on whether you like it or not.

The yellow is supposed to represent gold..or merit...the blue -knowledge and balance..the symbol in the middle is a nip of a pen representing the slogan 'Ability above everything'

The Neutralization of Casteism-Final Phase

In my earlier post, I talked about how adopting caste-neutral surnames might encourage us to finally let go and forget this stupid caste system...but even if we do that there is one place where we are encouraged to declare our caste...yes of course am talking about -Reservations.
Reservations..other wise commonly known as the issue-nobody-wants-to-touch-with-a-sixty-foot-pole, reservations in the education system and govt jobs are sometimes described as a form of 'positive' discrimination...yes it does sound stupid doesn't it...what the hell is positive discrimination?!!..its like saying positive shoplifting...discrimination is discrimination and its always negative.

this aint shoplifting..its called open but forced charity

However, instead of being a tool for social justice..reservations or the quota system is turning into a tool for discrimination. With every other sub-caste,religion, community,housing society etc. starting to demand reservation..am pretty sure am gonna start demanding reservations myself for people who are left handed..I mean with the kind of governance we have I could pretty much get it done if I have enough people to create a vote bank.

"we have been persecuted against by all you right handers..we demand our right!..I mean left..whatever!"

Yes this time you are free to blame the politicians...because even if you remove the biased mentality from the society..the government is there to remind you about it while filing your college application or while applying for a govt job...So the government actually certifies that you are born a bit less intelligent than others because you belong to a particular caste (sounds like casteism to me...)..just like the eternal question of whether Jesus was a christian or a jew..we have the eternal paradox of the fact that Dr. Ambedkar didnt need any reservations to be great.Although, he had proposed the idea of reservations for a limited time,now they are just being used as vote-bank cashing cheques.
But at the same time, I admit that they do serve a need...am totally against reservations..but still they are needed and can't be totally abolished immediately. There would cause unsurmountable chaos and the reservations will not have achieved their purpose of social justice. The situation is still grim..especially amongst the tribal people who are only just waking up to education and its merits..reservation is still needed especially in the rural areas but only to compensate for the innefficient education policy and the goal-less quota system.

I said goal-less...because let me ask a fundamental question...what is the purpose of the quota system...well to uplift the castes/communities by giving them opportunities which were denied to them for centuries..right?...well yeah...but how do you finally know that their upliftment has been done..that society has finally leaned towards integrated unbiased development..hmmm..also to drop another bomb..I personally believe everything about the quota system currently is just meant to take revenge..yes, I said it...right from the ridiculous mandal commission recommendations to the superbly retarded quota promotions bill..everything about the quota system has just been turned to a tool to merely introduce another caste system..where the oppressed can become the ruling class by oppression itself. Look at way the US has instilled the affirmative action system for upliftement of black people..its such a progressive system under which quotas are not imposed in your face but justice is being done in a more subtle manner.
But our quota system...this is not the way to progress...this is merely setting off another cycle of oppression which will turn upon itself a few hundred years into the future..all the hatred its terrifying..you cannot go ahead by pulling someone backwards.. you have to put yourself forward.So to revert back to my original question..how do you decide that your society has finally given up on casteism..thats when it doesnt even need a quota system anymore...just like when Neo asks Morpheus in The Matrix "how can I learn to dodge bullets.."and Morpheus says "when you are ready you won't have to.."


"I am the chosen one..but I worked hard for it!"

The final goal of reservations should be that you shouldnt even need reservations anymore..
That is obvious you say..of course it is...but now that we know the goal..whats the plan...well there should a 3 step plan for this...(it could have been 2 but I made it 3 because it sounds cool) By the way, all these plans are on macro scale..they can only be implemented by a very brave yet intelligent government

Step 1- Remove the victimization- The main thing that every vote hungry politician does is he tries to victimize the caste that he or she belongs to or wants to cash in on....hell Mayawati even cashed in on the Brahmin vote by pretending to tend to their needs...why caste specifice needs...because merely caring for poverty or general bijli-pani is so 1960's

Anyways, so even if we cant remove vote-hungry politicans, we can remove the stigma of victimization from peoples minds..am not saying they should'nt learn about what kind of atrocities a caste faced in the past..but their minds could be opened up to the fact that they are not being victimized on a grand scale anymore.. How to do that...well first of all remove the B from OBC....(SC/ST/NT are fine)...yes remove the word 'backward' from the term Other Backward Classes...aside from the people trying to politicize the issue, some of you normal human beings may ask..whats that gonna change..whats in a name...besides as God of all comedians (and one of my gurus) George Carlin said that making some words sound politically correct only diminishes their impact. But am not trying to diminish the fact that yes, some classes are backward, but I believe the fact you can't base your identity on a negative aspect..besides, being called 'backward' shouldn't be a matter of pride..Shivaji Maharaj inspired people to be positive and establish swarajya..he created a brand name for the people to identify with..he wasnt just a sardar or a king..he was a king of a Swarajya.
Thats the kind of image makeover we need, change the name of OBC to either OC (I dont need to explain) or OPC (Other Progressive Classes,sounds a bit glossy but anyways)....the point being that if the word (and the concept )'backward' is dropped from social usage and hence social consciousness it would help remove the victimization aspect and uplift the confidence of the people. I propose this change for OBC only because its the most misued sector of the quota system.while SC/ST quotas are properly defined, OBC defnition can be, and is changed to accomodate any vote bank with enough influence.

Step 2- Remove the caste identity- I had earlier talked about removing the caste-identity by adopting caste-neutral surnames..but still we will have our caste being mentioned in caste-certificates and application forms. We will still continue to identfiy ourselves as Brahmins,Lohars,Dalits etc etc. ..we still have organizations that would care for our particular caste and also because we can come together and hate all other castes..caste is still a issue and we are damn touchy about it... So how do we remove the caste-identity without causing a nationwide zombie apocalypse like chaos.

Well don't remove the reservations.(we would need the Aadhar card system to be in place for this step)..just remove the caste identity from each and every government file,caste database...did I just cause a zombie-apocalypse by saying that?..probably...just calm down...hear me out...you dont need to identify your caste to get a reservation..you can merely be identified as belonging to SC/ST/NT/OPC quota..your particular caste/sub-caste need not be mentioned..again you ask me..am I just starting another caste system..only that the new castes are not named by their original names but by GEN SC/ST NT and OPC (I like that term and am gonna use it!)..well in essence yeah...but am also trying to phase out the eariler caste system...just like an unpopular car model's production is not stopped but phased out (pun in the title!..10 points for anyone who guessed it )..we can limit the countless number of castes and sub-castes to a mere 4-5...in a matter of few years the caste identity would begin to dissolve
Also to completely dissolve the identity, next sub-step would also be to ban any caste based organization..be it Brahman Sabha or Bahujan Sangh..every organization with a caste based distinction be banned under a special amendment to the current (atrocius and retarded ) Atrocites act (which only covers discrimination against specific castes)..it could be renamed as the Prevention of Discrimination act (which can be applied to all kinds of caste discrimination)..although banning organizations could be deemed as violating freedom of speech..but I personally feel freedom of speech should be a privilege (not just a right) and utterly harmful freedom of speech be curtailed at the right time...imagine if Germany had taken away Hitlers and the Nazi party's freedom of speech at the right time..although I do agree that such a power to take away freedom of speech usually results in autocratic regimes but still its food for thought.

Step- 3 - Incentivize giving up discrimination- Merely making the wrong thing illegal and making the right thing compulsory doesn't guarantee results..thats like telling a girl, not to meet any other guys and meet you daily just to make her fall in love with you...that doesnt work (or does it?..many guys actually tend to think so)..anyways..the point being..if there is nothing likeable...nothing to be gained from it..why would someone go for it.


its compulsory in North Korea to like their leader Kim Jong-un..look carefully the women are trying not to cry

In the same way to make people finally give up discrimination, we must make it profitable to do so.First of all, a renouncers quota be introduced...1-2% (could be gradually increased)..anybody who is willing to adopt a caste-neutral surname and  give up his/her caste-identity/quota forever be given admission or job through this quota..it must be made clear that his children will be admitted under open category afterwards. Also the fee for such a renouncer be even lesser than the existing freeships for all quotas and he can even apply for a scholarship exam (or straight away for anyone achieving 90% and above grades) through which his college and all other higher education (including medical engineering etc) be financed (or half financed) by govt through interest free loans or by any other models.There should also be strict implementation of the creamy layer system for all castes and an increase in EUC quotas, regardless of caste. (thats Economically Backward,replaced with Economically Underprivileged)
Also the final phase of this process would be to start an upward migration of the classes. Meaning that if your family has availed admission under one quota 3 times in the past (the counting date being after the passing of a certain act of course), then you have to avail admission through the next quota...meaning NT to SC/ST...SC/ST to OPC and finally OPC to Open..why this...because there is a theory that reservations are acutally making some people take lesser effort to study or work (which I support to an extent) also if you cant make any progress while availing a benefit 3 times in the past..then well you dont value what you are getting isnt it?..

This is in gist the final stages of my master plan to eradicate.. nay.. phase out and finally Neutralize the caste system. Although I know many of the solutions will appear radical and even impractical but at least its a step in the right direction. Imagine if this mission is made into a national campaign..and to further incentivize/inspire people, turned into a brand name...lets name it Free India 2047..imagine the kind of progress we could see right on the aniversary of 100 years of independence..I have written a speech for it, not as prime minister or leader..but just as a common dreamer..maybe even a visionary..just like all of you

The ultimate independence

..That you'll have the privilege of reading the next time (stop laughing..am trying to be emmotionally serious.) untill then...fight bias..I know most of you already are...many of my friends refusing admission through quotas or refusing to avail any benefits...people accepting inter-caste marriage etc etc...I think its hightime we all came together for this..Lets forget old problems and move on to new ones.




 

The Neutralization of the Indian Caste System (yeh sab jaat ka..)

Don't be scared...this is not a super-serious political article..its not even a social critique or analysis or something...its just some simple common sense...the title is just a take on Dr. Ambedkar's book- The Annhiliation of the Indian Caste System...I used that because I didn't wanna use the often used punny (Fun intended) lines like 'caste off'' or 'caste away'.
Anyways, I chose the word Neutralization instead of Annhilation because annhilation means total destruction meaning that two opposing forces must equally be consumed in this process...I use the word Neutralization not just because it sounds fancy when FBI people use it in Hollywood movies but because annihilation of the caste system might be a distant dream, taking a milder yet more efficient approach to it might be a solution.


Annhilation

Neutralization
 

I must confess that I have never read Dr. Ambedkar's book but of whatever I have read about it..it seems that one of his primary suggestions was Intercaste marriage...the government also promotes this and while this does look a good idea on paper and slowly most Indians are opening up to the idea..but still its not a solution...just because it is permitted doesn't mean its compulsory...besides marriage is a personal decision..nobody marries believing that they are out to eradicate the caste system. The second and most controversial solution was that of reservations (although originally meant by the great man for a limited period)...but more on that later on.
Let's first see the basic reason that discrimination still exists...and by discrimination I just dont mean so-called 'upper' caste discriminating against so-called 'lower' castes...I for one reason do not and will never believe the term 'reverse' discrimination...discrimination is discrimination...doesnt matter if its upward, downward or sideways...and I think discriminating against someone just because your forefathers were discriminated against in the past is just plain bullshit...its like raping someones daughter just because he raped yours...you cant hold someone's descendants responsible for the acts of their ancestors. And am sure you have recognized that I belong to a caste which is being constantly blamed for casteism...but I feel this is discrimination in itself. I only respect people based on their actions and if you discriminate against me, dont expect me to feel sorry for you or give a damn about what collective bullshit your ancestors took. If you blame a particular caste for discrimination...You are no better than those who oppressed you. Its an endless cycle then...it will keep going on and on.
Sorry for the strong words...but this is what I hate...we are holding on to something we should have let go of a long time ago...and am not just blaming others...myself included...we still have traits of casteism in us...everybody is proud of belonging to a certain caste..even though we might not go as far as not drinking water from the same source...but still thinking of bringing some other caste girlfriend or boyfriend home is like an episode of Fear Factor...only that sleeping on a bed of live scorpions is less nerve-wrecking.



Eating live scorpions while doing weights is easier than convincing your family about an inter-caste marriage
 

And also  please stop blaming just politicians for casteism too...they make use of it, only because it exists in our mind. You are personally responsible and you have to fight it.To fight casteism we must attack the thing that still acts as the identifying factor of a caste. Fighting racism is compartively easy...because racism is based on certain apparent physical characters like skin color or facial features..but how do we identify whether someone belongs to a particular caste...a few streotypes like all Brahmins are vegeterians (nowhere in the original Vedas does it mention that Brahmins should be vegeterians) or somebody being a Buddhist is automatically assumed to be a Dalit..these things are indicators..but the real distinguishing factors that activate our bias sensors are- Surnames...or last names if you prefer.
Yes...I can tell you surnames are like the 90% of the reason casteism still exists (I came up with that statistic because it sounds damn cool). In India, we hold on to our last names like they are trophies of the past...each and everyone of us including someone with  a surname like Dhungne (thats a real surname) will try and find something about their family name to be proud of. We try and find greatness in our last names for we cannot find greatness in our individual actions.
Imagine the moment you hear someones name and surname, one part of your brain starts looking through the caste files for identification. Its become such a habit that its almost instinctive the way it happens.
So whats the solution you ask?...drop surnames...no thats impractical and stupid...the solutions I propose are not idealistic but real...adopt other caste surnames. Well that is already happening you might say...people adopting surnames which exclusively belonged to  certain castes in the past...its good..but still thats not a solution. Thats like the Taliban changing their name to the Nazi party. The name changes but the purpose somewhat remains the same...In this case, to try and become part of an exclusive group.

The actual solution would be to start adopting caste-'neutral' surnames (yes there is a pun in the title after all...why would you even think I would write a title without a pun..thats stupid).
What?? Drop the surnames you said?!! yes I did...seems impractical...not really...seems radical...absolutely it is...radical solutions are what are needed to end this centuries old bullcrap.
See even the idea of doing that feels to us as the equivalent of pissing on the graves of our ancestors...its blasphemy in India to even think of changing your last name to something insignificant...even more blasphemous than changing your religion...have you realized most people who convert to other religions never change their surname. Thats how messed up we are..thats how addicted we are..we are ready adopt an entirely new approach to life...but give up our surnames...no, never! (I personally dont consider anything as blasphemous as I follow my own personal religion, so no offense to any converts intended)
Imagine if you had a surname like Bharati or Bhartiya or something like Manav..or any regional surname with -kar suffix attached (Rashinkar,Gavhankar etc...as is common in Maharashtra..some people from south also directly use the name of their native place)....nobody could easily tell what caste you belonged to. (that would result in some regional bias...but infinetly better than casteism for the moment)
I know the next set of words that come to your mind are..if you are so sure of the solution why havent you done it yourself...well, am a part of this stupidity I must confess...I have realized the solution but we are so deeply ingrained with this feeling that as for you its hard even for me to think about it...perhaps if I was some influential figure...and me doing something like this could inspire thousands to do it...then maybe I would get the conviction to think about it. Believe me, it takes truckloads of courage to just even write something like this. Am not boasting, am just making sure you understand the context.
I do realize that this is not the only solution but this is merely one of the many steps in the process to Neutralize casteism...we could begin with baby steps like giving first names more  importance on all application forms and drop this very Indian system of writing your name in the LAST NAME FIRST NAME FATHERS NAME format (Bacchan Amitabh Harivanshrai) on most forms...or probably use the south Indian system of using just the Initials of your surnames on ID cards..for eg V. Shantaram...N. Chandra...L. Subramaniam...another easily socially acceptable step would be to start using the first name of you father/mother/grandfather or anyone ancestor as your last name. Imagine if we got the courage to slowly graduate to caste-neutral surnames...in just two generations our children wont be able to remember what caste does the surname Patil or Joshi belong to.
Of course we would have our government to remind them of their caste by asking them to write it in their school/college admission forms. Which brings me to the second step of this neutralization plan..but I think this is enough controversy for one post. I will let the tension die down then drop the second bomb (of enlightenment!).
Till then, try and free your mind and dont teach young kids why their surname is the most important thing about them.Think about this, nobody remembers what Alexander's or Chanakya's surname was. Peace...

"The name is 'TheGreat'...Alexander 'TheGreat'... "

DISCLAIMER- I feel I should give a disclaimer because caste is still a very sensitive issue...but I mean no offense to any particular caste or religion. I hate hatred in all its forms and am willing to fight it as radically as possible.The strong language used here is only and only meant for strong impact because we have too many value education book like articles with softy language that sound impractical and preachy.  Also please feel free to find all kinds of faults with this solution but propose a better one for each fault that you find...and once again all the humor is not intended to be offensive but intended to be striking.


 

Malnutrition in India- An Eggcellent Solution

Sorry for the titular pun...but couldn't help myself...anyways, regarding malnutrition in India,read this from Wikipedia -

The World Bank estimates that India is ranked 2nd in the world of the number of children suffering from malnutrition, after Bangladesh (in 1998), where 47% of the children exhibit a degree of malnutrition. The prevalence of underweight children in India is among the highest in the world, and is nearly double that of Sub-Saharan Africa with dire consequences for mobility, mortality, productivity and economic growth.^[1] The UN estimates that 2.1 million Indian children die before reaching the age of 5 every year – four every minute – mostly from preventable illnesses such as diarrhoea, typhoid, malaria, measles and pneumonia. Every day, 1,000 Indian children die because of diarrhoea alone.

And sorry for the second time to have used direct Wikipedia stats...I know its the laziest thing to do..but whatever...Am sure you get the idea that malnutrition in our country is a serious issue. We are higher up in malnutrition than some african countries who haven't even seen a green revolution yet..and I know, first let's get the obvious thing that comes to our mind..yes it's the damn population explosion etc etc..If people didn't fuck so much the situation wouldn't be fucked up..etc etc ..we all know that's the problem...and what's the solution...of course the Govt. should take care of it as we all know and it would never do so, as we all also know.

But not to be a complete sarcastic bastard, the Govt. does try..I mean some people do..calling the Govt. completely corrupt and stupid in my eyes is equal to something like casteism...not all people are the same. There are some genuinely good people (not many, I agree..but still.. ) trying to do some genuinely good things...regardless of what your 24 x 7 media and movies tell you...not all people who are a part of Govt. organizations are corrupt incompetent assholes and rapists. Some are trying to at least introduce good ideas...Ideas like the Mid-Day Meal Scheme...which as we all know comes into the news because of reasons like feeding substandard food to kids...but as usual media never reports the times when they did serve good food or helped feed poor kids...bad news is good business of course.

Anyways, getting down to business at hand...like every good idea in our country...am sure there is a corrupt politician somehow ripping money off this scheme...and 50 others trying to politicize the scheme into a failure just to gain attention...but nobody will ever focus on the actual issue of malnutrition. But am not here to just spread awareness...we are all mostly aware of it...but am here to propose a good solution- Eggs. (yes, you are smart..you got it from the title)

breakfast of champions
 

See Eggs, even though being crticized by some people for being cholestrol heavy...are a great and complete source of Vitamins A D and E, zinc, other minerals and mainly protein in such amounts which cannot be found in most veg foods and/or meats. The benefits of having at least one boiled egg a day outweigh the disadvantages like five times over. I know in India, we have a stigma attached to eggs...being considered 'non-veg' and all...I do respect those views...but thankfully increasingly many people are eggeterians in India..they would eat eggs but not meat...which I think is a fine line to walk to satisfy your religious doubts.

For those who still are doubtful about eggs, in case you haven't already heard this anecdote- Our pious old Mahatma Gandhi had once replied the following, on being asked whether egg should be considered 'veg' (veg of course in Indian English means all  foodstuffs that are religiously permissible) as per Hindu religious standards..He said- "If you consider the milk that comes from a cow as acceptable for consumption, I don't see why eggs shouldn't be given the same treatment"

Although, I doubt the historical authenticity of that quote, but I still agree. You see..an egg is actually kinda like a female chick's period...I know this might even gross out some actual egg eaters..but still the eggs that you get in the market...are unfertilized eggs...with no chance of a chicken ever hatching out of it...meaning that if you use animal leather...or sheeps wool...an egg is as good as that...you can even take care of that egg for months or even sit on it....it won't hatch. Anyways, I don't want to present an argument for the religious vailidity of eggs...but lets just say this...you can eat all the boiled chana you want in the morning...still two eggs will take care of like your monthly requirement of protein..besides for the people experiencing malnutrition..not to sound like a dick..but religion should be on the backburner when you are thinning out of hunger.

So here it is..please do keep feeding children..that khichdi or whatever they serve in midday meal schemes...but why not have an Egg-A-Day scheme..or an Egg Wednesday or something..
give the kids just one egg a day..and not just the poor ones...our McD going,pizza guzzling urban kids could also do with a healthy snack every once in a while.Start promoting eggs on an even larger scale then NECC..Since Vada-Pav is a popular (and superbly unhealthy) snack in Maharashtra..
try promoting Anda-Pav...start by setting up small food franchises outside schools/colleges..start serving it on Railway Stations and Trains...get Aamir Khan to promote it...just tell him not to fake-cry for it...one good smile will do. As for playing your own part with this, start by spreading the message (and eating eggs too..even though you are not malnourished..egg is still good for you)..its the least we can do.
Also, Let me tell you a more macro effect of people eating more eggs..most of you know the problems faced by farmers regarding irrigation and finance and depleting yields..soil erosion etc. Eating more eggs would actually help start a butterfly effect so that farmers doing the same traditional gambling like farming and earning little or no money can actually switch to poultry farming and earn in a better way...and without going into the detail economics of it..but eggs would actually get cheaper if more people ate them..thats actually the purpose of NECC's promotional campaigns ..although, I agree that ethical treatment of chickens in poultry farming is a seperate issue in itself. ( not for me personally, I eat most kinds of meat and am of the opinion that if you can grow trees, take care of them,water them, feed them and then kill/harvest them and do this again and again every year..its the same..just the colour of the blood being shed is green or red)

Anyways getting back to the issue,I think by concentrating on just providing two quality foods- eggs and milk (pure milk of course)..we can reduce malnutrition problems by a long way. I agree this is not the only and not the best solution..but you have to agree its a tasty one.

Solving Social problems has never been so delicious