Game of Thrones - Maharashteros

Brace yourselves, a new govt. is coming to Maharashteros…and even though a stable predictable election might have been good for the state, but thanks to swollen egos, a hunger for power, family rivalry and ruthless politics, the road to it was very entertaining, almost as good as a story.

While a comparison of the situation to the Game of Thrones is just inevitable, it just goes to show the greatness of the books and the show and ultimately author George R R Martin, who managed to make a fantastical story involving Dragons, Ice-zombies etc. so damn realistic enough to be compared to real-time politics. Now many articles have been or will be written comparing the political parties involved to the different houses of Game of Thrones. But in my personal opinion, it’s when you start comparing some characters and their behaviour to our netas that the parallels seem to be closer than one would have imagined. The stories might not intertwine or follow the same script but by the old gods and the new, these leaders almost perfectly resemble some of the characters and their behaviour- (Mild spoilers ahead, in case you haven’t seen ALL the seasons/read all the books, and in case you haven’t seen or read anything GoT, what the fuck have you been doing?!)-


Raj Thackeray = Stannis Baratheon

Sample this-An estranged member of a renowned ruling family who is ambitious and powerful in his own right, revolts against his brother, claims himself the rightful heir to the throne, starts following some really extreme weird ideologies, becomes powerful enough to become a formidable force for his enemies to start worrying, becomes over-ambitious attacks and is defeated and has almost completely lost his army. He is very stubborn and refuses to ally with anyone. It seems like even though he could make a good leader, just always lets his ego get the better of him.

Raj Thackeray is in a similar situation Stannis Baratheon (the elder brother of Robert Baratheon) was at the end of Season 2 after the battle of Blackwater. He was utterly destroyed and at the brink of falling into irrelevance. However, Stannis managed to get back on his feet by the end of season 4 and looked into a completely different direction for his path to the iron throne. He has the extremely weirdly hot Melisandre- an evil powerful woman with her own intentions and a priestess of the mysterious Lord of Light –who seems to be helping him. Plus, it also helps that his dedicated and righteous right hand man- Davos Seaworth manages to convince the Iron Bank of Braavos to bankroll his revival. Stannis himself now seems to be aware of what he is doing and is more dedicated and even more determined.

Now, let me admit that am a big fan of Raj and his decisive no bull shit attitude and also his clarity of thought on many issues. Plus, add to the fact that he is undoubtedly the best and the most mesmerizing orator in Maharashtra and arguably India, means he can pretty much achieve whatever he wants to. He has the wits of Tyrion Lannister (Don’t worry, not even one person in this list is the true equivalent of the awesome Imp…that distinction would belong to me if I had entered politics :P) and popularity which Stannis can never hope to have. He showed a lot of promise in 2009 and no new party had such a big impact of politics ever as the MNS did back then. However, what I don’t like about him, is that although he has learnt oratorical and presentation skills from his Late Great Uncle, he seems to have not learnt how to keep his ego aside. He must learn to tone down his ego and also the sectarian politics a little bit, if he really wants to capture hearts. He doesn’t need to be another clone of the Shiv Sena. He can be something far bigger and better if he chooses to be. Either that, or the sun will finally set on him and the MNS. Remember, the Night is dark and full of terrors…

Uddhav Thackeray= Rob Stark

Yes Yes, I know if Raj belongs to the Baratheon clan then how can Uddhav be of a different clan. But as I said, this list is about how leaders suit the characters, not the storyline. And in terms of characters, Rob Stark suits Uddhav the best.

A son who finds himself in the thick of things after the death of his great father, he gradually but surely steps up to the occasion and actually even when nobody expects him to, starts doing really well. He succeeds at most battles when nobody is giving him a chance. However, Uddhav might do well to watch the episode where the ever so wise Tywin Lannister says how Rob Stark never lost a battle but in the end was defeated.

Uddhav has admittedly done well, although no one expects him to scale the heights the great Balasaheb did, he has achieved a good number of seats in Loksabha and the state elections- Evoking his father’s memory as and when was needed and using his inherent organizational and administrative skills. But just like Rob Stark, many doubt whether, even though being a good guy in general, whether he is capable of actually ruling over the people. I for one, don’t believe he has the certain street-smart cunning that a good leader needs to have. A good leader also needs to be ruthless and willing to take hard decisions at times. Mere courage is not everything, you need a sharp, tactical mind too.  He appears to have become a bit complacent just like Rob had and although he is in a good position right now, let’s hope he doesn’t make the same mistakes Rob did.

But I think until and unless the Congress/NCP are planning to have some kind of a suspicious wedding he doesn’t have anything to worry about.

The Gandhi/Nehru Clan= The Lannisters

Ha ha..this should be the least surprising entry on the list. A rich powerful family of douchebags who would do anything and I mean anything to stay in power. They have had some good leaders in the past but being rich and powerful are the only two things that interest them (also incest, but let’s not go there). Well if you think I lied when I said that I am not going to compare parties to houses, you have got to excuse me here, because this one is just so easily done. Here take a look-

Cersei Lannister definitely = Sonia Gandhi- a cold, calculating, intelligent mother and de facto queen at times, who would do anything for all her children and most of all, can see absolutely nothing wrong with her son- Joffrrey. A spoiled brat and easily the most hated and vile character in GoT. Although I must admit Rahul isn’t even remotely capable of being this evil. That honour of a shamelessly evil, bloodsucking, talentless heir to a throne goes to Ajit Pawar. Rahul’s intelligence is more on par with Hodor-

 but he is definitely as annoying and as much spoiled by his mother's love as Joffrey. In his mind, he thinks that he is the rightful heir to the throne, while all we see is -

Anyways, but thankfully the Gandhi Clans influence is on the wane now unlike the Lannisters so far. But we have got to see, because also unlike the stories- a Gandhi always makes you pay their debts.

Narendra Modi/BJP= Daenerys Targeryan-

As opposed to the above, I admit this is the least similar comparison and not just because Emilia Clarke is infinitely way hotter than Modi -

Mother of Dragons indeed...she doesn't need fire breath to burn through you

But also because Daenerys is part of a once powerful Targeryan family which controlled all of the empire for centuries but was completely shattered when Robert Baratheon usurped the throne. Then again, let me explain. Here are the similarities- a leader gradually rises out of nowhere belonging to a power which till recently everybody had written off as not even a threat. The leader through his decisive organizational skills and natural charm manages to not only create ripples but also conquer large chunks of territory, sometimes by merely walking into one. He is heralded as a saviour of sorts by the mass majority of people tired of petty politics. Also, Amit Shah just like one of Dany’s dragons, is someone Modi unleashes when in need. His marketing spreads like fire and who has a skin tougher than dragons when it comes to negotiations.

 Even though you won’t ever hear Modi, blatantly saying something like “They can either live in my new world or die in their old one” But that is what is aggressive and dominating though game-changing politics seem to be saying.

Although Daenerys hasn’t quite invaded Westeros yet, Modi invaded Maharashteros and was largely successful, yet not completely, as I think the young Dany will surely discover later in the story, you can be ever so powerful but you can’t control everything by threat and mere strong intention.

Real power comes from being behind the scenes sometimes. It takes a special amount of evil cunning and a willingness to go against anything and anyone…to bend every possible principle as and when it’s good to do so. And as we have recently discovered in Game of Thrones, that there was only one guy who was willing to go to any lengths to be in power-

Sharad Pawar = Lord Baelish (Littlefinger)

Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some, are given a chance to climb. They refuse, they cling to the realm or the gods or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is….

The only difference between Baelish and Pawar is that Baelish is a fictional character and hence a bit more dramatic, who would actually go on to say something like this, but read it again and tell me that you don’t believe that deep down in some corner of the dark murky organ that pumps that delirious lust for power in his body that Pawar has for a heart, he really believes  in the above mentioned lines.

Just like Baelish, Pawar will switch alliances before you can spell alliances properly, he will charm, deceive, cajole or fight and do it all without once batting an eyelid. He is the one man who has discovered that a Kingmaker is more powerful than the King. That real power comes not from showing it but by making things happen at all costs. Also like Baelish, he shamelessly uses all things that are convenient to cementing his position. He will declare himself, a farmer when supporting farmers, an industrialist when supporting industries, a patron of arts and sports when it suits him, a Hindu when it suits him, a proud Maharashtrian when it’s appropriate, a supporter of secularism and crusader against sectarianism when it isn’t. Also, don’t forget the caste-ism. The kind of open hatred he reserves for Brahmins while himself belonging to an upper caste, owning so much land that one could solve any malnourishment problems in Maharashtra by selling it and marrying his daughter off to one, is just some marvelous hypocrisy at work. He also likes pretending to champion the cause of minority empowerment without actually doing anything constructive for it. Everybody knows how corrupt he is but nobody can do anything about it. Time and again, he manages to get away with so many things that would have others sinking quicker than in quicksand.

This is because unlike Baelish, Pawar does have some redeeming qualities. In some ways, if I had to compare him to another TV character, he shows a few traits of Walter White (Breaking Bad), in terms of how a genius can slowly go crazy for power. Pawar has done some good things for Maharashteros, he has brought some development to his pet regions, and is a proud Maharashtrian none-the-less. He is still the sole Marathi Manoos after his mentor - the great Yashwantrao Chavan- who seemed capable of being the Prime Minister some day. But in my opinion, power has got him, corrupted him to such an extent that now he can't see anything beyond cementing his power locally. 
He seems to have so many things going on behind the scenes that even Chanakya would look at Pawar and say-'Dude, that's just way too much'. It's not even about money for him now, there is only so much you can accumulate before you start getting bored. Nothing matters for him now, no family, no honor, no titles, nothing. Its almost like a game for him now. A Game of...

Dictators, Morons and Cry-babies

“You know why this is the worst prison in the world….Hope…Over the years, many have tried to escape but failed miserably…you see without hope there cannot be true despair..”

-          Bane

In case you haven’t seen the movie, (I am holding myself from damning you to hell), but still just in case you haven’t seen the movie, the scene refers to a prison where Bane was himself incarcerated for majority of his life (perhaps even born there) and where he has now imprisoned Bruce Wayne to break the latter’s spirit. The prison is an underground dark pit…but it’s peculiar point is a hole about the size of a well right in its centre…which gives light and well…hope for escape. One can see the light…the sky…there are crevices in the wall from which one can dream of climbing through…but it’s a life threatening climb that looks just easy enough to do…but of course isn’t. That’s the worst thing isn’t it…if one has resigned himself to Destiny…if one has given up all hope, he is free…free from the burden of effort…of trying…of struggle. But as long as there is something that keeps feeding you a hint of an opportunity, it will continue to tease you by that mere possibility…by trying to gasp that little chance of escape to a better life.

In a movie so blatantly laden with themes of democracy, citizen’s revolution and personality cults, many would not equate this famous prison scene from The Dark Knight Rises to be an ideal description of democracy…but this scene almost quite sums up my philosophical views on the Indian democracy. I said philosophical because even though political ideology involves philosophical influences to a large extent, politics has always had an engaging affair with practicality that philosophy sometimes steers clear of.

As I have always made clear, my views of Indian politics, have veered from true democracy to socialism to autocracy and anarchy, (yes, anarchy even before the Joker and V for Vendetta made it super cool). Now, before you start accusing me of just not being firm on my beliefs…well what the fuck is the point if your beliefs don’t evolve over the years…each and every great thinker, leader, politician etc. has gone through a phase to settle on framing their own ideas…to stick to one set of ideas all your life is an insult to human evolution.  However, that’s not to say that you can change your principles as and when it suits you….(only politicians get to do that) but what I believe is that your core principles do remain the same and though you might commit to different ideas in public…there are core ideas which you believe are true no matter what and they will influence your life after a certain age. According to the Indian govt. (and most governments world over), an individual supposedly achieves that at age 18. As though a switch is magically switched on and people suddenly start knowing who is better at framing their tax policy at the same age when the only two things that matter (at least to guys) are…..

Although, philosophical ramblings apart, I do agree that we have to set a barrier to allow people to participate in democracy, but as I have made clear in my previous article….since when did age become the only determining factor…what about literacy and education (not the same thing)…so currently my views have evolved on Meritocracy. And I believe, I will settle at that…it involves all my core ideas…equal opportunity…Intelligence…distribution of power and ensuring morons aren’t in-charge.

Speaking of morons, as to how our democracy resembles Bane’s prison…well, it offers people a false hope…a chance for change…by permitting anybody to participate in its governing process. However by allowing seamless participation it’s allowed all kinds of assholes to enter into positions of power by the only merit of being born in the right family and/or using their caste/money to be popular amongst a section of people, which has seriously eroded our standards of governance. Although, popularity is seldom a mark of efficiency and in politics, one man’s hero will always be the other man’s villain…after probably the first generation of politicians who were also freedom fighters of some sort… no other politician has enjoyed uniform acceptability in India. And those in power will always remain in power, they will never let the poor truly develop or never let the backward caste ever rise of the backwardness…they will sprout all kinds of pseudo-ideologies and stir up names of great leaders as and when needed to merely achieve the goal of being in power. Corruption will give birth to corruption. Casteism will give birth to casteism. But for the sole reason that we are a ‘democracy’ and still have a relatively fair election process that the people are not down in the streets going all ‘french revolution’ over their ass.

 

I bet the french have some unnecessarily long but romantic sounding word for this too...

This is how down in the dumps our system currently is…although I have written about electoral reforms and etc. before (which you can read here) I won’t go too deep into what the problems are.

But as Balasaheb Thackeray has once said, “Democracy in India is a guise under which the corrupt hide their sins”. And he couldn’t be more right.

However, coming to terms with practicality, since we all are stuck in Bane’s prison…we have to grab whatever chance…no matter how difficult or life-threatening it is…to lift ourselves into a better society. This is the thing about democracy again…Bane’s prison provides at least a chance…even if one in a million…an autocracy (like China) or a confused theocratic ‘democracy’ (yes am talking about the religiously extremist piece of shit failed state-Pakistan) does not. So time to take the chance…but like Bruce Wayne learns to do in the movie, he has to go without a safety rope…without a cushion of falling safely to go through. Fear of death…fear of failing is what drives him to make that epic final jump successfully.

What drove me to come back to this blog after a year…well, elections!... to be specific…and also finally doing 4 rounds in a period of 3 months to get my name enlisted in the voter’s list. OK before you go on, I came to Pune from Aurangabad right about age 19 and since, middle-class people have it harder than Bangladeshi illegal immigrants to get themselves registered, I couldn’t get it done until 7 years later. Not that I tried really hard before…it’s just that I was 19 and I had better things to worry about... 

Anyways, since the country is in a mood for change…I decided that this is the right time to get registered. Even though the only original reason I wanted to get registered was to merely exercise my right to give a middle finger to the system i.e. select the None Of The Above option (NOTA)…but there seems to be some hope on the streets.

Yes of course am talking about Modi and BJP, not that am a really big fan of him nor really a big fan of the BJP. But even as a 10 year old, I couldn’t bring it in my mind to support congress. And forget my own personal preferences, no matter how kattar a Congress supporter you are…let’s face it…they have done a real shit job in the past 10 years…all the scandals and populist schemes apart, the worst being having an impotent, uncharismatic PM who cant even move facial muscles rather than an entire country. 

Not that BJP is the epitome of good governance or something…but hey let’s have a change at least for the heck of it. At least have some new scam-sters in place. Who knows they might get two-three things done in a better way than others. At least they seem to have some idea of where they are going. Unlike you know who

Besides, for those pseudo-liberals who think they are being so different and cool by pointing out that Modi hasn’t really done all the things he has said well…even if he has done two things like completing the Kutch irrigation canal and improving the city of Ahmedabad…that still is two more things than Congress did. Also, for the sake of practicality…if you are criticizing anything…a) you should be the one actually doing something about it or b) you should have a better option/comparison to offer. I agree things aren’t ideal etc etc…well here is a secret…I ideally want to have a three some with Malaika Arora and Monica Belluci…ideal yes…practical…fucking no…get the point?

As Rahul Gandhi’s rape on national television in that infamous interview by Arnab has proved, he is definitely NOT an option. 

And even before you mention AAP, Kejriwal may have ran away again. They call Modi a dictator, well Kejriwal is a cry-baby in comparison. Not efficient enough to be dictator, not calm enough to have at least a little childish charm like our little Prince.  Sure you can be a CM and sit on dharna…just the same way you can be a CEO and go on strike against your employees. But the fact is you CAN do it if you want to…just that if they weren’t listening to you in the first place no way as hell they are gonna listen to you now. Kejriwal is actually more of an embodiment of Bane’s ideas to torture Gotham…poison the people with hope and then take it all away suddenly. 

But anyways, lest this sound like another Modi advertisement…(really annoyed with all of those btw), I don’t really adore him as the perfect leader either (I reserve that title only for myself). His speeches are awful, he has been trying to create a one man personality cult around himself rather than project the ideas of the party. But that’s about it. He at least appears as though he could do something. Personally (and I think I speak for most people’s sentiments) I hate Congress more than I like Modi. No wonder people who haven’t earlier been on-board with the whole Sangh Parivar parties are now at least wondering about giving them another chance. They didn’t really do that bad during Vajpayee’s time if you ask me. But then to each his own, personally I would choose an efficient dictator over a cry baby or a bumbling moron anytime.

Moral of the story is…you HAVE to choose someone…even if its NOTA. Don’t lose out on the opportunity to make a difference. Please do vote for any goddamn party you want. But do exercise your right. Even if imperfect, currently it is the only option we have. Go ahead…Take a Leap of Faith.

And as South Park once said “Democracy sometimes means having to choose between a douche and a turd..” Your Choice. 

Introduce a little Meritocracy...

Now, anytime anybody has ever asked me about my political views...I have ranged from not political to plain old democratic (like most people in early childhood)..to communism (everybody has that phase)...to Autocracy (I know I would be an awesome dictator but what after me)..but I have mostly had a fascincation with Anarchy...and this was way before the iconic 'Introduce a little Anarchy' hospital scene from The Dark Knight

if you dont know this scene...then...well...How about a magic trick where I make a pencil disappear

But just because am fascinated by it doesn't mean I want to practically live with it..its like just because am a fan of Salman Khan doesnt mean I wanna marry him...ok..really-weird-off-the-tangent jokes apart..I do believe Anarchy is an essential school of thought...its a 'necessary evil' you might say...People need to know what darkness is so that they can appreciate the light..But total Anarchy just like total Socialism sounds only cool on paper..or even better if you roll weed on to that paper and smoke it.

Dude..socialism totally works..look at the USSR..its still there..isnt it...

For all intents and purposes Democracy is the ideal form of government...even though it is flawed..at least we are all screwed together in it and have only ourselves to blame...also if not anything else..democracy gives us the illusion of choice...we at least have some say in a democracy..its the one form of Government where you dont disappear overnight for saying something against the government.

or do they...
 

Anyways, call the Indian Democracy what you want but we are actually one of the most democractic nations ever..we have had democratic republics since the vedic times and even our most grassroots administrations are panachyats...Indian women had voting rights immediately after our independence..America had voting rights like 150 years after theirs..we have had one women prime minister and several chief ministers..so called champion of democracy USA has had none..but still dont get too carried away...even though we are a democracy we are a feudal democracy.
Yes...we choose to elect our opressors..in the past,we served people who earned our leadership by birthright..now we just elect them..(which they think they are eligible for just by birthright)

"Ruling you is our birthright and we shall have it.."

 

So whats the problem...ya we all know most politicians are power-hungry, corrupt and there is nothing a ordinary citizen like us can do about it...we are a culture steeped in heroes...we want some Messiahs or Mahatmas to come save us..because we are too lazy or scared (rightfully) to do anything about it..But a heroes job is like a nitro boost..its meant to bring about a balance to an otherwise unbalanced system..but its our job to change it and maintain it.
So, first let me say the basic thing that you ll always hear but never practice..please VOTE!..vote for the lesser of two evils..or at least go and register yourself for the 'none of the above' option..see its because almost 40% of the middle class has given up on its basic democractic function that we are still in a feudal mindset.
But still..I understand the problem doesnt end there...I believe that there is a inherently deep problem with our democracy..other than our servile mindset..I believe that bad leaders get elected only because we allow them to get elected..they create vote banks on the basis of casteism,regionalism,being-dirt-poorism etc. But to really stop this problem we have to realize the one basic fundamental flaw with democracy...democracy assumes that whatever is 'popular' is good for everyone...did it sound stupid when you read it..thats cause it is. People win not only coz they have loads of money bags to hand over..but because they manage to strike a chord with whatever vote bank they have created..people vote for someone who appeals to them not necessarily for someone who is actually good for them...Pepsi is a pretty popular drink..but in no way is it good for you.

I Know Pepsi can cure cancer because I Like it

In essence a democracy becomes a reality show where the shittily talented contestant wins and the actually talented one loses..thats because all people who voted for the show can't understand or appreciate music at all.
So whats the solution..whats the way to restore peoples faith in democracy...introduce a little Meritocracy. Now before you start googling this..let me tell you that even though meritocracy sounds like the rule of the elite..its not..thats aristocracy or plutocracy..in a meritocracy..power is given to those with skills and ability and their advancement is dependent on their achievements..its not heridatary..its doesnt seek to establish a ruling class..anyone with the skills and ability and performance to show for it can act as an administrator...as I said every political system is an essenatial element thats 'necessary' for a society...in the same way am not suggesting absolute Meritocracy..am suggesting introducing little elements of it.
Meritocracy has been written about since centuries.. practiced in ancient China,India and Greece..currently only one nation practices Meritocracy..its Singapore.. and we know what amount of progress its made. Osho was a big fan of Meritocracy and you 'll find some of his thoughts about it here.
But how do we introduce Meritocracy in our country where your caste or money are more important...well, lets start at the basic level.. Just like people who can't understand shit about music but think they can spot talent right away..you have to admit that the same happens in a democracy...do you see where am going here...ok .. I ll say it right away..even for the sake of being branded an elitist or snob or a general dick.. I believe not everyone is capable of voting..voting shouldn't be a right..its a privilege..just because you are eighteen doesnt necessarily mean you are capable enough of deciding whether someone can run your country better than others.
Ok..dont start throwing stones at me..in Jesus style let me say..he who hasn't thought that most people are fucking retards cast the first stone...right...thank god you realized it.


so what if I cant answer that right..I know who can solve my country's economic crises

But now comes the obvious question..how do you decide that who can and cannot vote.
Well as usual here is a 3 step programme-
1) Voting is a right but only for those capable of understanding its power- Yes I said it..I know education is no guarantee of intelligence.. but its at aleast guarantee that you can read the papers and know what is happening to you and your society..pass a law that requires minimum Higher Secondary (HSC or 12th or 10+ 12 or whatever equivalent) to be the minimum qualification for someone to be able to earn a voting card.
After maybe having implemented a nationwide Aadhar card project..we can automatically issue Voting cards right after someone passes the HSC..that way we not only stress on the importance of voting, early in peoples minds but also ensure that some illiterate person who thinks that their vote is not registered unless they first press the button next to the hand symbol of Congress (by the way, there have actually been such incidencies reported) doesnt earn a share in deciding this country's future..yes I know it affects him as well and he should have the right..well does he/she know how this is affecting him..if you are not educated enough..well then I wont say screw you go home (even if I want to)..all I can say is we can have some refresher course..with an online test that can one can be certified as eligible to vote...so that one doesn't have to go back to college and risk being called uncle or aunty.
Also, I would suggest this law to be applicable not in retrospect..but from the date from which it is passed..so that not only the existing people are not discriminated against but also that future generations will not only know the importance of literacy but hopefully realize that you cant govern yourself by just the virtue of being born here..you have to earn the right to do it. I do realize that our educational system is flawed and inadequate but still no amount of resources can replace the will to learn.
Of course but now that we have talked about who can vote...what about the biggest problem of who we vote for..

2) Minimum qualification to get elected-
According to our constitution, any dumb schmuck who is above 18 years of age and was born here can compete in an election (the norms for being a Prime minister and Presidient vary..but only in terms of age)..well we have all seen cases of 4th fail retards as education or chief ministers...how about setting up some bench mark...something of a filter to ensure that shit gets filtered at some point. I am aware that just because someone passes an exam doesnt mean that they are an effective leader..charisma..leadership skills etc. are arts that are learned practically rather than from books. But am not talking about holding an exam for the post of a minister..am talking about a minimum standard for someone to be able to to decide the fate of millions of this country.
Lets say that you have to be a minimum of  graduate in any stream to be able to stand for even municipal corporation election..this way we can avoid to some degree, all the illiterate bhabhis and bahus of dead criminals/politicians being voted in on merely emmotionally basis as puppets of other party heads. Let me tell you a person with a degree can also be a puppet and be swindeled..but at least it gives us some guarantee that your local Nagarsevika  Ma. Dwarakabai Hingnekar w/o late Jagdishdada urf (Bhau) Hingnekar isnt as dumb as she looks on those election banners.
But still jokes apart..I believe that if you cant get 40% to graduate through college..no matter what amount of leadership skills you have..its not useful unless you are able to make an informed decision..yes I said 40% coz I knw even when you read the words minimum qualification you automatically assumed that the person needed to be a mertiorius or scholar..as I said education is no guarantee of intelligence nor leadership nor morality..I only propose that lets set a minimum filter for at least qualified people to earn the right to be leader.
Also, as much as I would like to say an even bigger SCREW YOU to any illiterate or less qualified politcians..we can maybe have some refresher courses with an in-camera online test..also the test can be something like 50 multiple choice questions selected randomly out of 500 questions and a small essay too..The MCQ result will be announced immediately..making the test in-camera and of randomly chosen questions will reduce the chances of cheating and corruption...Also,we do need an essay which would be checked by an impartial body so that we rely not just on lucky choices for qualification.

 

3) Not just educational qualifications-
By Meritocracy I just dont mean that people need to be educationally qualified..there are other qualifications..other moral filters we can set to minimize the risk of trash ruling us..we can completely destroy the politician/goonda nexus by introducing a few changes. Also, I believe that being a people's representative is a govt. job so all the changes here apply for all govt. jobs as well

• People with a criminal record of serious crimes like murder, rape or involvement in a scam will lose the right to vote or stand for election or any govt job...this will apply to people undergoing trials or even released on bail. Also, people with more than 2 children henceforth, should also be barred.
• As I said that voting and getting elected should be privileges not rights..we can have a detailed system where there can there can restrictions according to the nature of your crime..so less serious cirmes will see a lesser ban and so on and so forth
• Establishment of a Sex Offendors registry where a list of criminals with minor offences from eve-teasing to major sexual assaults is maintained..the name stays on the list depending on the severity of the crime..(for example something like 3 years for eve-teasing ..7 years for physical abuse..lifetime for rape..even after jailtime etc.)...all govt./semi-govt jobs will require a check through that registry and anyone whose name is still there will be refused a job. Here you not only ensure morally appropriate candidates are selected but also disincentivize people to treat women like crap. Private employers will also be encouraged to follow similar practices. If you cant respect women, you dont deserve to have a standard of living
•  Also, as I have said earlier freedom of speech is actually a privilege...yes I agree who and what anyone decides is inappropriate is a matter of persepective..but I think there can be consensus on setting a media/public appearence ban on someone who has had a particularly serial and severe (please note the underlined words and dont talk to me about giving people second chances) criminal history. Hateful speeches/obscenity are a bit of a matter of persepective..but how about banning someone with a background of actual violent crimes involving caste discrimination or religious hatred.

Bonus Step..making people Stakeholders - well though not directly related to voting or voting rights, we can ensure people participation in democracy by having everyone pay at least 500 rupees tax in a year..only if your annual income is below 1 lac you are exempt...monetary obligation ensures that people become not only citizens but stakeholders of the democracy..this kind of tax can be used to set up a national level massive group insurance..so that a minimum amount of lets say something around 2 lacs or more is guaranteed for any earning member's family in case of death or something or permanent disability. Dont get confused.. am not saying you cant vote if you dont pay tax..am saying that by introducing such a participatory tax (and of course reducing others..but thats another issue for another day) we can ensure more voter turn out.

So here its is..a bit of Meritocracy in our system wouldn't be so bad..yes it will have consequences just like every political system does..but no harm in giving it a chance...although am aware of all the flaws in our education system which seeks to test our memory more than knowledge or decision making ability..but thats another issue for another day (yes..because there are only so many things you can cram into one post)..am also aware that these dreams might never materialize..unless of course we all start taking a part....play your part..vote for anyone..vote for none-of-the-above..at least earn the right to criticize the problems in our country..Use your power.



ok..thats enough power for you..

PS- unless you have noticed that Meritocracy (democratic meritocracy) has never gotten the dues or the marketing it deserves..every other political ideology has a cool theme/color/symbol..Democracy though doesnt have a particualr symbol..all the american symbology somehow have come to represent that..blue and white..mostly come to mind when you think of Democracy...Communism has its Red color and sickle and hammer..Anarchy has its black and its 'A' in a circle (yes thats the symbol watermarked on this blog)..Hindu supermacy has Orange..Islamic supermacy Green..Meritocracy has never had its symbol..I have made an primary attempt to design a flag and a symbol for it..please comment on whether you like it or not.

The yellow is supposed to represent gold..or merit...the blue -knowledge and balance..the symbol in the middle is a nip of a pen representing the slogan 'Ability above everything'

The Neutralization of Casteism-Final Phase

In my earlier post, I talked about how adopting caste-neutral surnames might encourage us to finally let go and forget this stupid caste system...but even if we do that there is one place where we are encouraged to declare our caste...yes of course am talking about -Reservations.
Reservations..other wise commonly known as the issue-nobody-wants-to-touch-with-a-sixty-foot-pole, reservations in the education system and govt jobs are sometimes described as a form of 'positive' discrimination...yes it does sound stupid doesn't it...what the hell is positive discrimination?!!..its like saying positive shoplifting...discrimination is discrimination and its always negative.

this aint shoplifting..its called open but forced charity

However, instead of being a tool for social justice..reservations or the quota system is turning into a tool for discrimination. With every other sub-caste,religion, community,housing society etc. starting to demand reservation..am pretty sure am gonna start demanding reservations myself for people who are left handed..I mean with the kind of governance we have I could pretty much get it done if I have enough people to create a vote bank.

"we have been persecuted against by all you right handers..we demand our right!..I mean left..whatever!"

Yes this time you are free to blame the politicians...because even if you remove the biased mentality from the society..the government is there to remind you about it while filing your college application or while applying for a govt job...So the government actually certifies that you are born a bit less intelligent than others because you belong to a particular caste (sounds like casteism to me...)..just like the eternal question of whether Jesus was a christian or a jew..we have the eternal paradox of the fact that Dr. Ambedkar didnt need any reservations to be great.Although, he had proposed the idea of reservations for a limited time,now they are just being used as vote-bank cashing cheques.
But at the same time, I admit that they do serve a need...am totally against reservations..but still they are needed and can't be totally abolished immediately. There would cause unsurmountable chaos and the reservations will not have achieved their purpose of social justice. The situation is still grim..especially amongst the tribal people who are only just waking up to education and its merits..reservation is still needed especially in the rural areas but only to compensate for the innefficient education policy and the goal-less quota system.

I said goal-less...because let me ask a fundamental question...what is the purpose of the quota system...well to uplift the castes/communities by giving them opportunities which were denied to them for centuries..right?...well yeah...but how do you finally know that their upliftment has been done..that society has finally leaned towards integrated unbiased development..hmmm..also to drop another bomb..I personally believe everything about the quota system currently is just meant to take revenge..yes, I said it...right from the ridiculous mandal commission recommendations to the superbly retarded quota promotions bill..everything about the quota system has just been turned to a tool to merely introduce another caste system..where the oppressed can become the ruling class by oppression itself. Look at way the US has instilled the affirmative action system for upliftement of black people..its such a progressive system under which quotas are not imposed in your face but justice is being done in a more subtle manner.
But our quota system...this is not the way to progress...this is merely setting off another cycle of oppression which will turn upon itself a few hundred years into the future..all the hatred its terrifying..you cannot go ahead by pulling someone backwards.. you have to put yourself forward.So to revert back to my original question..how do you decide that your society has finally given up on casteism..thats when it doesnt even need a quota system anymore...just like when Neo asks Morpheus in The Matrix "how can I learn to dodge bullets.."and Morpheus says "when you are ready you won't have to.."


"I am the chosen one..but I worked hard for it!"

The final goal of reservations should be that you shouldnt even need reservations anymore..
That is obvious you say..of course it is...but now that we know the goal..whats the plan...well there should a 3 step plan for this...(it could have been 2 but I made it 3 because it sounds cool) By the way, all these plans are on macro scale..they can only be implemented by a very brave yet intelligent government

Step 1- Remove the victimization- The main thing that every vote hungry politician does is he tries to victimize the caste that he or she belongs to or wants to cash in on....hell Mayawati even cashed in on the Brahmin vote by pretending to tend to their needs...why caste specifice needs...because merely caring for poverty or general bijli-pani is so 1960's

Anyways, so even if we cant remove vote-hungry politicans, we can remove the stigma of victimization from peoples minds..am not saying they should'nt learn about what kind of atrocities a caste faced in the past..but their minds could be opened up to the fact that they are not being victimized on a grand scale anymore.. How to do that...well first of all remove the B from OBC....(SC/ST/NT are fine)...yes remove the word 'backward' from the term Other Backward Classes...aside from the people trying to politicize the issue, some of you normal human beings may ask..whats that gonna change..whats in a name...besides as God of all comedians (and one of my gurus) George Carlin said that making some words sound politically correct only diminishes their impact. But am not trying to diminish the fact that yes, some classes are backward, but I believe the fact you can't base your identity on a negative aspect..besides, being called 'backward' shouldn't be a matter of pride..Shivaji Maharaj inspired people to be positive and establish swarajya..he created a brand name for the people to identify with..he wasnt just a sardar or a king..he was a king of a Swarajya.
Thats the kind of image makeover we need, change the name of OBC to either OC (I dont need to explain) or OPC (Other Progressive Classes,sounds a bit glossy but anyways)....the point being that if the word (and the concept )'backward' is dropped from social usage and hence social consciousness it would help remove the victimization aspect and uplift the confidence of the people. I propose this change for OBC only because its the most misued sector of the quota system.while SC/ST quotas are properly defined, OBC defnition can be, and is changed to accomodate any vote bank with enough influence.

Step 2- Remove the caste identity- I had earlier talked about removing the caste-identity by adopting caste-neutral surnames..but still we will have our caste being mentioned in caste-certificates and application forms. We will still continue to identfiy ourselves as Brahmins,Lohars,Dalits etc etc. ..we still have organizations that would care for our particular caste and also because we can come together and hate all other castes..caste is still a issue and we are damn touchy about it... So how do we remove the caste-identity without causing a nationwide zombie apocalypse like chaos.

Well don't remove the reservations.(we would need the Aadhar card system to be in place for this step)..just remove the caste identity from each and every government file,caste database...did I just cause a zombie-apocalypse by saying that?..probably...just calm down...hear me out...you dont need to identify your caste to get a reservation..you can merely be identified as belonging to SC/ST/NT/OPC quota..your particular caste/sub-caste need not be mentioned..again you ask me..am I just starting another caste system..only that the new castes are not named by their original names but by GEN SC/ST NT and OPC (I like that term and am gonna use it!)..well in essence yeah...but am also trying to phase out the eariler caste system...just like an unpopular car model's production is not stopped but phased out (pun in the title!..10 points for anyone who guessed it )..we can limit the countless number of castes and sub-castes to a mere 4-5...in a matter of few years the caste identity would begin to dissolve
Also to completely dissolve the identity, next sub-step would also be to ban any caste based organization..be it Brahman Sabha or Bahujan Sangh..every organization with a caste based distinction be banned under a special amendment to the current (atrocius and retarded ) Atrocites act (which only covers discrimination against specific castes)..it could be renamed as the Prevention of Discrimination act (which can be applied to all kinds of caste discrimination)..although banning organizations could be deemed as violating freedom of speech..but I personally feel freedom of speech should be a privilege (not just a right) and utterly harmful freedom of speech be curtailed at the right time...imagine if Germany had taken away Hitlers and the Nazi party's freedom of speech at the right time..although I do agree that such a power to take away freedom of speech usually results in autocratic regimes but still its food for thought.

Step- 3 - Incentivize giving up discrimination- Merely making the wrong thing illegal and making the right thing compulsory doesn't guarantee results..thats like telling a girl, not to meet any other guys and meet you daily just to make her fall in love with you...that doesnt work (or does it?..many guys actually tend to think so)..anyways..the point being..if there is nothing likeable...nothing to be gained from it..why would someone go for it.


its compulsory in North Korea to like their leader Kim Jong-un..look carefully the women are trying not to cry

In the same way to make people finally give up discrimination, we must make it profitable to do so.First of all, a renouncers quota be introduced...1-2% (could be gradually increased)..anybody who is willing to adopt a caste-neutral surname and  give up his/her caste-identity/quota forever be given admission or job through this quota..it must be made clear that his children will be admitted under open category afterwards. Also the fee for such a renouncer be even lesser than the existing freeships for all quotas and he can even apply for a scholarship exam (or straight away for anyone achieving 90% and above grades) through which his college and all other higher education (including medical engineering etc) be financed (or half financed) by govt through interest free loans or by any other models.There should also be strict implementation of the creamy layer system for all castes and an increase in EUC quotas, regardless of caste. (thats Economically Backward,replaced with Economically Underprivileged)
Also the final phase of this process would be to start an upward migration of the classes. Meaning that if your family has availed admission under one quota 3 times in the past (the counting date being after the passing of a certain act of course), then you have to avail admission through the next quota...meaning NT to SC/ST...SC/ST to OPC and finally OPC to Open..why this...because there is a theory that reservations are acutally making some people take lesser effort to study or work (which I support to an extent) also if you cant make any progress while availing a benefit 3 times in the past..then well you dont value what you are getting isnt it?..

This is in gist the final stages of my master plan to eradicate.. nay.. phase out and finally Neutralize the caste system. Although I know many of the solutions will appear radical and even impractical but at least its a step in the right direction. Imagine if this mission is made into a national campaign..and to further incentivize/inspire people, turned into a brand name...lets name it Free India 2047..imagine the kind of progress we could see right on the aniversary of 100 years of independence..I have written a speech for it, not as prime minister or leader..but just as a common dreamer..maybe even a visionary..just like all of you

The ultimate independence

..That you'll have the privilege of reading the next time (stop laughing..am trying to be emmotionally serious.) untill then...fight bias..I know most of you already are...many of my friends refusing admission through quotas or refusing to avail any benefits...people accepting inter-caste marriage etc etc...I think its hightime we all came together for this..Lets forget old problems and move on to new ones.




 

The Neutralization of the Indian Caste System (yeh sab jaat ka..)

Don't be scared...this is not a super-serious political article..its not even a social critique or analysis or something...its just some simple common sense...the title is just a take on Dr. Ambedkar's book- The Annhiliation of the Indian Caste System...I used that because I didn't wanna use the often used punny (Fun intended) lines like 'caste off'' or 'caste away'.
Anyways, I chose the word Neutralization instead of Annhilation because annhilation means total destruction meaning that two opposing forces must equally be consumed in this process...I use the word Neutralization not just because it sounds fancy when FBI people use it in Hollywood movies but because annihilation of the caste system might be a distant dream, taking a milder yet more efficient approach to it might be a solution.


Annhilation

Neutralization
 

I must confess that I have never read Dr. Ambedkar's book but of whatever I have read about it..it seems that one of his primary suggestions was Intercaste marriage...the government also promotes this and while this does look a good idea on paper and slowly most Indians are opening up to the idea..but still its not a solution...just because it is permitted doesn't mean its compulsory...besides marriage is a personal decision..nobody marries believing that they are out to eradicate the caste system. The second and most controversial solution was that of reservations (although originally meant by the great man for a limited period)...but more on that later on.
Let's first see the basic reason that discrimination still exists...and by discrimination I just dont mean so-called 'upper' caste discriminating against so-called 'lower' castes...I for one reason do not and will never believe the term 'reverse' discrimination...discrimination is discrimination...doesnt matter if its upward, downward or sideways...and I think discriminating against someone just because your forefathers were discriminated against in the past is just plain bullshit...its like raping someones daughter just because he raped yours...you cant hold someone's descendants responsible for the acts of their ancestors. And am sure you have recognized that I belong to a caste which is being constantly blamed for casteism...but I feel this is discrimination in itself. I only respect people based on their actions and if you discriminate against me, dont expect me to feel sorry for you or give a damn about what collective bullshit your ancestors took. If you blame a particular caste for discrimination...You are no better than those who oppressed you. Its an endless cycle then...it will keep going on and on.
Sorry for the strong words...but this is what I hate...we are holding on to something we should have let go of a long time ago...and am not just blaming others...myself included...we still have traits of casteism in us...everybody is proud of belonging to a certain caste..even though we might not go as far as not drinking water from the same source...but still thinking of bringing some other caste girlfriend or boyfriend home is like an episode of Fear Factor...only that sleeping on a bed of live scorpions is less nerve-wrecking.



Eating live scorpions while doing weights is easier than convincing your family about an inter-caste marriage
 

And also  please stop blaming just politicians for casteism too...they make use of it, only because it exists in our mind. You are personally responsible and you have to fight it.To fight casteism we must attack the thing that still acts as the identifying factor of a caste. Fighting racism is compartively easy...because racism is based on certain apparent physical characters like skin color or facial features..but how do we identify whether someone belongs to a particular caste...a few streotypes like all Brahmins are vegeterians (nowhere in the original Vedas does it mention that Brahmins should be vegeterians) or somebody being a Buddhist is automatically assumed to be a Dalit..these things are indicators..but the real distinguishing factors that activate our bias sensors are- Surnames...or last names if you prefer.
Yes...I can tell you surnames are like the 90% of the reason casteism still exists (I came up with that statistic because it sounds damn cool). In India, we hold on to our last names like they are trophies of the past...each and everyone of us including someone with  a surname like Dhungne (thats a real surname) will try and find something about their family name to be proud of. We try and find greatness in our last names for we cannot find greatness in our individual actions.
Imagine the moment you hear someones name and surname, one part of your brain starts looking through the caste files for identification. Its become such a habit that its almost instinctive the way it happens.
So whats the solution you ask?...drop surnames...no thats impractical and stupid...the solutions I propose are not idealistic but real...adopt other caste surnames. Well that is already happening you might say...people adopting surnames which exclusively belonged to  certain castes in the past...its good..but still thats not a solution. Thats like the Taliban changing their name to the Nazi party. The name changes but the purpose somewhat remains the same...In this case, to try and become part of an exclusive group.

The actual solution would be to start adopting caste-'neutral' surnames (yes there is a pun in the title after all...why would you even think I would write a title without a pun..thats stupid).
What?? Drop the surnames you said?!! yes I did...seems impractical...not really...seems radical...absolutely it is...radical solutions are what are needed to end this centuries old bullcrap.
See even the idea of doing that feels to us as the equivalent of pissing on the graves of our ancestors...its blasphemy in India to even think of changing your last name to something insignificant...even more blasphemous than changing your religion...have you realized most people who convert to other religions never change their surname. Thats how messed up we are..thats how addicted we are..we are ready adopt an entirely new approach to life...but give up our surnames...no, never! (I personally dont consider anything as blasphemous as I follow my own personal religion, so no offense to any converts intended)
Imagine if you had a surname like Bharati or Bhartiya or something like Manav..or any regional surname with -kar suffix attached (Rashinkar,Gavhankar etc...as is common in Maharashtra..some people from south also directly use the name of their native place)....nobody could easily tell what caste you belonged to. (that would result in some regional bias...but infinetly better than casteism for the moment)
I know the next set of words that come to your mind are..if you are so sure of the solution why havent you done it yourself...well, am a part of this stupidity I must confess...I have realized the solution but we are so deeply ingrained with this feeling that as for you its hard even for me to think about it...perhaps if I was some influential figure...and me doing something like this could inspire thousands to do it...then maybe I would get the conviction to think about it. Believe me, it takes truckloads of courage to just even write something like this. Am not boasting, am just making sure you understand the context.
I do realize that this is not the only solution but this is merely one of the many steps in the process to Neutralize casteism...we could begin with baby steps like giving first names more  importance on all application forms and drop this very Indian system of writing your name in the LAST NAME FIRST NAME FATHERS NAME format (Bacchan Amitabh Harivanshrai) on most forms...or probably use the south Indian system of using just the Initials of your surnames on ID cards..for eg V. Shantaram...N. Chandra...L. Subramaniam...another easily socially acceptable step would be to start using the first name of you father/mother/grandfather or anyone ancestor as your last name. Imagine if we got the courage to slowly graduate to caste-neutral surnames...in just two generations our children wont be able to remember what caste does the surname Patil or Joshi belong to.
Of course we would have our government to remind them of their caste by asking them to write it in their school/college admission forms. Which brings me to the second step of this neutralization plan..but I think this is enough controversy for one post. I will let the tension die down then drop the second bomb (of enlightenment!).
Till then, try and free your mind and dont teach young kids why their surname is the most important thing about them.Think about this, nobody remembers what Alexander's or Chanakya's surname was. Peace...

"The name is 'TheGreat'...Alexander 'TheGreat'... "

DISCLAIMER- I feel I should give a disclaimer because caste is still a very sensitive issue...but I mean no offense to any particular caste or religion. I hate hatred in all its forms and am willing to fight it as radically as possible.The strong language used here is only and only meant for strong impact because we have too many value education book like articles with softy language that sound impractical and preachy.  Also please feel free to find all kinds of faults with this solution but propose a better one for each fault that you find...and once again all the humor is not intended to be offensive but intended to be striking.